Deadly Addiction
by Futago no Seishi
Summary: What hapens when you fall into a vicious cycle of pain and addiction with the one that hurts you the most? yaoi HD.


Parts: 1/1

Pairing: H/D

Rating: R

Category: Angst/Romance

POV: Draco

Italics: Lines of the poem

Summary: What happens when you fall into a vicious cycle of pain and addiction to the one that hurts you the most?

A/N: A Weak!Draco and Cruel!Harry ficcy! There just aren't enough of these out there. I am on a mission: To spread out as many Desperate!Draco and Cruel!Harry ficcys as possible!

Another A/N: ARGH! EVIL FF.NET! **kicks it repeatedly** IT BOTCHED UP MY FICCY! **sobs** Some lines of the poem are over to the right side instead of the center and are not italicized. **screams n kicks ff.net again** RAGE!!

Warning: YOAI AHEAD. If you do not know what yaoi is, it is male x male relationships. You squick at that? Well, I'm not making you read this. But know, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Deadly Addiction

By: DrAcOxNoCtEm

_Lost above the world_

_Floating in a realm of surreal beauty_

_I look down and find myself_

_Weak and trembling beneath you_

_Broken but so beautiful_

_Crying inside as your touch ghosts over me_

Waves upon waves of ecstasy crash upon me as my body arches up on it's own volition, quaking and shuddering. I am so weak… I can't resist it; I can't resist _him_. No matter how hard I try, I'm always giving into him, surrendering my body as a sacrifice to him, supple and willing to be manipulated, abused, broken… I let him wreak havoc on my body as I squirm in his grasp, his touch, his caress… No matter how gentle it is, it bores into me and sears my insides.

_You completely own me_

_You have all of me_

_From the moment that you first decided_

_To break this beautiful doll_

_And I am powerless to do anything about it_

_For I am so weak…_

            I know that I am weak… so pathetically weak. I can't even look at him without feeling just about ready to submit wholly to him. He is everything to me… Without him, I am nothing. I can't live without him; each and every moment apart is torturous, so painful it grips at my soul and threatens to rip it out. And that's what sickens me; the fact that I can't even _imagine_ what life without him would be like. Hell, I probably wouldn't even last to find out what it was like. He is my life support, the only thing that keeps me going on, and out of oblivion. He is my shining beacon of light in the velvet-darkness, the prize at the end of life's long journey, and yet at the same time, a deceptive snake, luring its prey into the depths of its lair with promises of treasures before pouncing… He is all of these and so much more. He is my savior, my guardian, my destruction. And I'm so dependant on the rush of being with him, I wouldn't last without this constant game we play, no matter how cruel it is. It's beyond just sheer want anymore… it's an addiction now… and such a deadly one…      

_But I'm tired of being broken now_

_I want to break free of this vicious cycle_

_I don't want to be there for your amusement_

_Just so you can play with for a while_

_And discard when you are bored_

_I'm more then just a toy_

            Abruptly, he changes the pace and begins to slowly thrust into me with deliberate, heavy movements. He leans over my body and braces himself on his forearms on either side of my head, going as deep as he can go, making my eyes roll back into my head at the sensations. And all that I can concentrate on is trying to will air into my lungs through my parched lips as my body is racked with mind-numbing pleasure. Small moans escape my throat as my body moves in time with his frantic movements, pressing our flushed skin closely against each other, his hands roaming all over me, leaving traces of fiery acid in its wake. 

But try as I might 

_I'll never be able to leave your side_

_Even through all that you put me through_

_I'll always be there_

_Craving the pleasure you reap from me_

_For I am so weak…_

            Panting, I reach up and wind my arms around his torso, blunt nails trailing faint lines of blood tears across the smooth, taut skin. I curse myself for being so weak and seeking safety in him, but I can't help it. Biting down on my lips to stop the threatening moans from spilling out, I wrap my legs around his hips, heels crossing over hardened muscles as I pull him closer to me, forcing him further into me, a resonating groan emanating from one of us. But it doesn't quite surprise me when I discover that it was my own; I always was the louder lover. Oh, but how he loved to hear me scream… And that must have been the thought that crossed his mind just now, though how he could think in such a haze of pleasure is beyond me. He stilled immediately, grabbing hold of my hips in a way that promised darkening bruises over my delicate skin tomorrow when I would be regretting all of the events of tonight, as I always do after one of our desperate midnight trysts. He pulled out in a maddeningly slow pace, stopping only when he was barely inside of me. 

_And you know just how weak I am_

_How dependant I am on your touch_

_You know I will always be crawling back for more_

_And more is just what your give me_

_You take me and break me again and again_

Because I am yours alone to hurt 

            Eyes that had slid shut during the intense pleasure earlier, snapped open in realization. I stare into the familiar eyes that I had constantly drowned in, seeing the lustful flicker, the wicked glint. I glare into them defiantly, resisting the powerful urge to writhe underneath his hold and push against him once more. Gazing into those depthless pools, my lips purse into a thin line of determination. Maybe, just this once, I could stand up and show him that I'm not so weak, not so painstakingly addicted to him. I watch as those orbs light up with amusement, as if challenging me if I could really actually refuse him. And I knew, like I had always known, that he very well knew that I could never deny him. He knew my weaknesses, and he liked to indulge in them. I allow my eyes to flutter close once more, my breath exhaling like a silent, shuddering sigh of defeat, as I feel the brittle walls I had raised up around me cave in.

And you never fail to hurt me 

_You take pleasure in seeing my pain_

_You break me constantly_

_Only to fix me and break me once more_

And I allow you to For I am so weak… 

            He watches expectantly, waiting for that crucial moment when I finally snap. It doesn't take long. Soon, I'm writhing and screaming, clawing at him desperately, begging him for more, pleading with him to break me, to hurt me over and over again. Between my loud pleas and futile squirming, I register the fact that his head is tilted back and his lower lip caught between two rows of even teeth, a low mewling sounding from deep within his throat, his Adam's apple slightly quivering from the vibrations. He loves to make me beg; he adores the sound of my desperate voice, my frantic movements, the sinful words that roll like molten ash off my tongue… For he knows that they're reserved for only him, because he's the only person that can own me the way he does.

_Never once can I say no to you_

_Never can I deny you what you want_

_I am at your mercy for all times_

_Leaping over backwards just to please you_

_Dependant on your touch_

_The same one that makes me cry inside_

            Licking his lips quickly, he leans down and captures my own hastily, abruptly cutting off my string of pleas. I moan loudly into his mouth as he begins to resume movement, returning immediately to his earlier frantic pace, now aroused beyond coherent thought at the sound of my frustrated voice. I scream within at my own weakness as I grab hold of his shoulders as if he were the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth. Lips bruising, tongues dueling, bodies slick with sweat and moving in perfect synchronization… the irony of it all. We seem so perfect together… fitting into each other like the missing pieces of a puzzle, but yet I'm dying inside… breaking all over again, another part of me forever lost. I lose more and more of myself each time I allow myself to come to him. But I can't stay away… no matter how hard I try.

_I need you like the moon needs the sun _

_I need you like the air to someone drowning_

_I need you like water to a parched throat_

_I need you like fire in a winter's cold_

_I need you like a drug to an addict_

I need you like the soul that has been ripped from me 

            I moan shamelessly as sensations race up my body like scalding heat, my body moving in time to his. He leans down and laps at my neck, sucking hard on the sensitive skin, bringing the blood up to the surface; marking me. But why he does this, I don't understand, because he already knows that I am his, and forever will be. But every time we meet, he feels the need to remind me that I am his. And every time, the feel of his lips sucking at my rapid pulse sends me over the edge. I scream into his shoulder, the sound muffled against his burning skin as I find release, spots flashing in front of my closed lids as I drift away, soaring high above in euphoria. My release sends him into his own, biting gently on my neck as he grips tightly at the sheets. As I settle back down from my sensory high, I stare numbly at his retreating figure, watching through guarded and pained eyes as he dresses and flees from the room, leaving me cold and alone again on my bed. I stare off into the space where his figure once was, before turning quietly onto my side and curling into a ball on my bed, the beautiful, but broken doll once more. It's ironic, isn't it? I can't live without him, but I die slowly inside with each touch. There's no haven from the pain, not for this forsaken heart. I'll never find peace… not when he is my deadly addiction.

You are my savior, my destruction 

_My deadly addiction_


End file.
